Anxiety: Self regulation techniques, Peppermint for anxiety diarrhea & the story of me pooping my pants in public.

Not the headline I envisioned either but here it is…

Can‘t believe I‘m actually writing this sitting at an airport café. Well, what can I say except I am not good with early flights. The cleansing green juice I prepared wasn’t helping either. Like at all. I should have just waited and drank it a little later but nonetheless it was inevitable - the diarrhoea I mean not the shitting myself part, that could‘ve been avoided and definitely will be next time. It‘s all a big big learning experience am I right?!

I lay awake all night as I usually do when I have early flights. A million thoughts running through my head. Questioning if the time I calculated to leave is correct, going over my airport outfit a million times hoping it was the right choice, to running through all the things I have packed, to imaginative scenarios, to business ideas and to do lists. Sometimes I wish there would be a way to record thoughts so you can look at a transcript later to see if there was anything essential in there. At the same time I‘m glad that this is not possible but I also wouldn‘t be surprised if it were soon.

At some point anxiety wasn’t just kicking in but taking over fully. Occupying my body and holding it prisoner. My gut flaring up, rumbling, talking in tongues even I haven‘t heard before. Wild. The interesting thing is that in situations like these I‘m so overthrown I forget all about the techniques and plants that could potentially help. I did remember one though and that was legs up the wall. So simple and yet so so effective every time. It is exactly what it sounds like: you lay down on the floor or bed, flat on your back with a wall in front of you and put your legs up until they are (almost) completely vertical. And then you just lie there. A super easy and effective way to calm down the nervous system quite quickly. Depending on how bad it is it takes about 10-20 minutes for me to feel more relaxed and calm. This time I honestly cannot tell you how long it took but definitely longer than usual. I then felt the urge to sit underneath my bedroom window and meditate.

That‘s when Hecate entered the chat. I have never really worked with a deity before but there are some that come forth eversince I‘m on my witchcraft journey. Hecate was one of the first ones I came across who really intrigued me. Maybe it‘s also because I watched to much Chilling adventures of Sabrina. Stopped counting the times I binged this show from beginning to end over and over again.

She had a very clear message. Telling me to lean into my dark side. That my power is so scattered because I resent my darkness. But as I am typing I can feel that I shouldn’t share more so I‘ll leave it at that and quite honestly I can‘t fully recall it either. I truly believe that when we cannot completely remember downloads or messages we aren’t supposed to.

Tried to go back to bed after but failed so I eventually got up, got ready, into the car with my mom and well that leads us back to the beginning. My gut is at my worst when my sleep schedule is off especially when I do not get enough sleep or any at all.

Changed my undies in the car, prayed that my pants weren’t contaminated which at first didn’t seem like it until I went into the airport and saw a little stain. Nothing too bad though. To the airport toilettes we went, huge props to the Vienna airport for spotless bathrooms OMG it was heaven. I was able to change my pants and directly wash them. Felt so comfortable in there that I braided my hair, actually did protection braids and I was off to boarding. As I was sitting down in my seat 26D, aisle seat, thank the heavens, I could feel my gut grumbling again and immediately knew something was brewing. At first I was relaxed, only a couple minutes until we would be in the air and I could use the toilet. Easy. Except we weren’t moving. Not a bit. On the contrary, the pilot just let us know that we will be delayed. In the meantime my gut calmed down. Storm over for now. The stewards were handing out magazines at this point signalling we wouldn’t be moving anytime soon. There it was again the rumbling. This time though my heart started beating out of my chest and I knew I was in trouble. Just as I wanted to get up to ask if I could use the toilet the airplane started moving. I managed to calm my gut down again magically. Thought I was good. The airplane still on the ground driving slowly. One hand on my heart, the other on my low belly I focused on breathing when it kicked in like it hadn‘t before. Full force. It was now or never as the airplane started gaining speed. I knew if I‘d get up now I‘d delay the entire flight. I wasn’t willing to risk that plus if I would‘ve gotten up at that point I know for a fact I would not have made it to the bathroom in time. So I focused as hard as I could on my breathing. The warmth of my hands that haven’t moved. If I would have watched myself I would‘ve thought oh this girl is battling severe flight anxiety. No no she was imploding like she never did before except maybe that time in the car earlier. To get to the end of what seems to be an endless story I made it. Self regulation is now my fortée I guess. Not complaining just wish I would have found that out in a more gentle way but these things we barely do…

There was one plant spirit that saved my ass today. A plant ally I never leave the house without. Peppermint. For all the girlies with stomach and gut issues this is your plant especially on the go. Such an attentive spirit which I feel like always knows exactly what you need and when you need it. Soothing in times of internal stress, uplifting and awakening when you need energy. A plant that can read your energy and adapts to it. How it showed up for me was so incredible and I‘m not just talking about this instance but many other instances in the past as well. A loyal friend that you can truly always count on and who never lets you down.

I remember not liking peppermint in the beginning because of its intensity. My stepdad used to struggle with headaches when we were younger which mostly occurred when we were driving or at least that‘s how I remember it. So anytime he would feel a headache coming on he‘d use peppermint essential oil all over. Whenever one of us got sick in the car guess what we would get handed? Peppermint. The entire car would smell like it and at some point I connected peppermint with feeling unwell especially during car rides. Couldn‘t smell it for a while until I started to struggle with my gut when I was around 14 y.o. and ever since then we are besties.

For me I use it mostly in essential oil form or as a tea. But no matter how you use it or in what form the plant spirit itself and your ability to connect with it will always be there. The cool thing about peppermint is that it is very common. Even if you do not have it with you there is a good chance of finding peppermint tea at the next corner store, gas station, café, wherever. Just having the tea bag on you can be super rewarding as already mentioned the plant spirit comes through either way, if you drink it, apply it, inhale it or simply hold it in your hands. Which the last is what I did on the airplane. Just holding it, connecting to the plant by placing your full attention on it. Let the plant guide you, listen to how it comes through to you and trust your intuition. You might be surprised of the many ways and levels plants can help you.

Safe to say this trip is one I’ll definitely remember. Not just because of this but also because of all that followed. To be continued. 🫶🏻